


"Wings" universe - a look at Patton & Logan's evolving relationship

by thatoneinsecurenerd



Series: Wings [4]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Anxiety, Fluff and Angst, Food, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Insecurity, Kissing, M/M, Original Character(s), Post-Divorce, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:28:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26407984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatoneinsecurenerd/pseuds/thatoneinsecurenerd
Summary: Requested byAceOfFateson"Wings" universe mini-fics:"I always did wonder the process of Patton's and Logan's love story that we didn't really get to see since it kinda skipped to married life. I'm curious about it because Ethan specifically accused Logan of "just wanting sex out of Patton." So did Logan hesitate as he's realizing he's falling for Patton? Was he scared that Patton will think that's exactly just what he wants if he did confess? Did that statement also made Patton wary of Logan? Did this make intimacy harder for the both of them or not? And other things at their process of falling in love along with a small Roman they had to tend to.”**I think you only technically have to read the first chapter of "Wings" to understand this, but even then, you might not really.
Relationships: Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: Wings [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1727896
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	"Wings" universe - a look at Patton & Logan's evolving relationship

**Author's Note:**

> Might fuck around and do a separate fic for every request I get in the future (regardless of length) so I can get it to the requester sooner.
> 
> I decided I wanted to post this before I started on all the things I actually have to do today, so yeah. Enjoy!

Divorce is one of many things that can uproot one’s life, no matter who they are. A recently-divorced husband must work through his sadness while, at the same time, moving forward with his life. It seems like a contradiction to simultaneously let go of the past to keep moving forward with one’s life and to dwell on the past so they can work on processing the memories until the pain of the relationship is significantly less. And yet, such was the recently-divorced husband’s life. 

The recently-divorced husband’s son must cope with the loss of his second father and his two brothers. He must cope with his life as he knew it being entirely changed: moving away from the only home he could ever really remember knowing with his father and a new man. A new man who he knew wasn’t his father. A new man who had been around more than his other father, in the end. 

This new man was the one who bought the new house, paying for it with money he’d saved from each of his fancy lawyer paychecks. He was the one who went back to work immediately after they moved, to bring in an income to pay the rest of the bills. 

Patton and Roman, at first, spent their days together, while Logan worked. They hugged each other and cried. They mourned all that they had lost; they reaffirmed that they would always have each other. 

They had maybe a week of this, before Logan insisted that Roman return to school – so as to not fall behind on the basics of his education – and Patton return to work at the secretary position he’d acquired at Logan’s same, new law firm. The adults would work, and Roman would be picked up from school and brought home by a new babysitter. 

In the evenings, the three would eat dinner together, the adults sitting at opposite ends of the table. Patton pasted on a fake smile that even Roman could see right through. Patton tried so hard to appear happy for his and Logan’s sakes. Roman tried to do the same – he thought Logan must have wanted him to do the same ( _why else would he be forced to return to normalcy in a place that had yet to be his new normal_ _?_ ) - but it was hard. 

When Roman cried, Patton held him. When Roman cried, Logan held him. Stiffly, at first, but soon enough, he was comfortable enough that Roman felt like he belonged enveloped in the serious man’s arms. 

Logan wasn’t Roman’s father, but fatherly duties came with living in a household with a kid who was much too young to take care of himself. If Patton slept in late, Logan would get up from the couch (the house only had two bedrooms: one for Roman, one for Patton. A house with another room would have been beyond Logan’s price range) and he would make the family breakfast. 

He’d make Patton a coffee loaded with cream and sugar. He’d make Roman a small stack of toast topped in Crofters jam - something the boy and Logan, himself, loved dearly. He’d make Patton something sweet. He’d help Roman into his seat at the table. 

He helped reinforce Roman’s proper table manners. He engaged Patton in conversation. 

Sometimes, Logan drove them all to work or school for the day. Both men would bid Roman farewell, and Roman would also bid them adieu. 

They developed a new normal, a sense of normalcy, a routine. They were happy in that new house with each other, despite the circumstances that had brought them there. 

But happiness wouldn’t automatically erase one’s worries. It wouldn’t automatically erase the recently-divorced father’s worries that this new man in his life – even if this new man was just a friend, even if the recently-divorced father wasn't thinking of getting into a new relationship with a new man so soon – would leave him, too. 

Yes, this new man bought the house. Yes, this new man cared for the recently-divorced father and his son. But what if he, upon living with the father and son, realized that he wasn’t happy with them, that his friendship was no longer worth this sacrifice that he had made for them? What if his end goal for doing all those things for the recently-divorced father wasn’t friendship but something entirely different? 

Ethan’s words echoed in Patton’s head. ( _“He wants to have sex with you.”_ ) Of course they did. Patton had always listened to Ethan. Ethan had insisted that he was right, that he’d had Patton’s best interests in mind, that he loved Patton. And Patton left him. Patton had doubted him and left him. 

Now, Patton doubted if he’d done the right thing. _What if Ethan had been right? What if that’s all Logan wanted, and he got tired of playing the waiting game, and so he left Patton to fend for himself?_

Patton tried to keep Logan at a distance, so worried that he would leave him. He didn’t want to get hurt again. He didn’t want to let someone else in, just for him to find out later that they’d only gotten close to him for their own personal gain. He didn’t want to hear anyone else’s words echoing in his mind. 

Patton didn’t let his wariness of Logan show. But he carefully monitored the man’s behavior with Roman. He always looked for signs that Logan would get tired of playing the waiting game, that Logan was getting ready to leave. 

But Patton noticed that Logan would go to work and come back to their house every day. He started to see that Logan would _always_ come back, that Logan wasn't like Ethan, that Ethan had been _wrong_. 

He started to see that sometimes, good people fell in love with bad people, but that didn't mean that that good person wouldn’t find a good person the next time they found someone. That bad people broke good people, but that someone else would truly care about that broken good person and would help them fix themselves. Not try to fix them into something _they_ wanted them to be. 

And so, Patton began to trust Logan. He didn’t worry about Logan leaving him. He didn’t worry about Logan hurting Roman. 

He trusted him to help him raise Roman. He trusted him to teach Roman. He trusted him to help Patton and Roman, both, continue to cope with their losses. 

Logan and Patton’s friendship grew. Roman’s view of Logan began to change, to improve. 

*** 

Adults didn’t have nearly as expansive of an imagination as children did, Roman very quickly learned, once he picked his toys back up and invited Logan and Patton to play with him. At first, only Patton would join him, Logan saying something about how it should be family bonding time for the two of them and he didn’t want to intrude on that. 

Patton let Roman tell him how the story would play out. He’d repeat whatever dialogue Roman gave him for his character. He’d do what Roman asked him to. 

Roman liked being able to tell his daddy what to do for once, but it wasn’t nearly as fun as playing with Remus, who would add his own twist to the story. And sure, a lot of those twists Roman had never agreed with, but the half-hearted squabbling interrupting their storyline was part of the fun. He didn’t have that with his daddy. His daddy didn’t have any contributions, even when Roman asked for them. 

Patton would always ask for _Roman’s_ opinion, as if the day’s storyline was some big, important thing that he didn’t want to mess up. As if Patton felt like he couldn’t make contributions to the storyline, even if Roman was asking for it. As if Patton didn’t believe that someone would ask for his opinion. As if Patton didn’t have an opinion to give. 

Logan only finally relented to joining Roman – halfheartedly insisting that he was far too old to play pretend with Roman and that he had more important, adult things to do (like taxes, which Roman was _sure_ were something made up, something made out to be so bad so it discouraged kids from wanting to grow up) - when Patton had gone out for groceries and Roman was awake and no longer entertained by whatever cartoon was playing on the living room TV. 

He shut off the TV, knowing that he was avoiding a lecture from Logan by doing so, and grabbed his stuffed animals from his room. He lined them all up on the couch, dividing them by who would be today’s princess, prince, and villain. Then, he went to the kitchen, where Logan was doing his boring adult work. 

He stood by Logan and cleared his throat, not wanting to interrupt the man, but at the same time, wanting to interrupt him. Logan looked over at Roman. 

“Come play with me?” Roman asked, widening his eyes and jutting out a quivering lower lip. 

“You cannot wait until your father returns from getting the groceries?” Logan responded, making no real indication towards wanting to go back to whatever he had been working on. 

“I wanna play with you today. You’re smart. You can help me with the story.” 

“Does your father not help you with it?” 

“Never.” Roman shook his head. “So? Will you play with me?” Logan let out a loud, overdramatic sigh, as if it truly pained him to part from his work. 

“Oh, _alright_.” Roman grinned and cheered. As soon as Logan stood, Roman attempted to pull Logan into the living room. Logan allowed himself to be pulled. 

“Who do you wanna be? The princess?” Roman gestured to the respective stuffed animal. “Or the villain?” He gestured to that stuffed animal. 

“I’d like to be the villain, if that’s alright. The villain has greater potential for a backstory.” 

“A backstory?” 

“For example, what leads the villain to kidnap the princess? What kind of villain is it, Roman?” 

“When... other daddy-” Roman knew that wasn’t right anymore. _But what else was he supposed to call him? And why did his heart hurt when he thought about him, even if his eyes felt devoid of tears?_ “When other daddy played with me, he’d be a sor-cer. An evil wizard.” 

“Would you like me to play as a sorcerer-” Logan said the word slowly, emphasizing the syllables for Roman’s benefit, “-or would you rather I play as something else?” Roman shrugged. Logan thought for a moment. “How about I play as an evil prince from another kingdom?” 

“Princes can’t be evil.” 

“Sure they can. If princesses can be evil, so can princes.” 

“Princesses aren’t evil!” Roman seemed offended by the notion. 

“What about Cinderella’s evil stepsisters?” Roman thought about it for a moment. He tried to think of something that would dispute it. But Cinderella was a princess, so her sisters had to be princesses, too, right? (He’d seemed to forget that Cinderella hadn’t been a princess before marrying the prince, and so her stepsisters _weren’t_ princesses.) 

Finally, Roman gasped, a sound so loud in his realization that neither heard the door open. “You’re right, dad!” Roman exclaimed. Patton froze in the doorway. Logan’s head shot up so he could meet Roman’s eyes. 

“Wh-what did you just call me?” Logan asked, his voice choked back. Roman looked back at him curiously. Patton didn’t know if he should close the door and pretend he’d never heard anything. However, he settled for watching. 

“Oh,” Roman said. Logan couldn’t identify his tone. “I- I don’t think I meant to. But you’re kinda my dad, too, right? Because you live here, and you help daddy take care of me.” Roman’s voice sounded innocent as he tried to explain his thoughts. Logan found it endearing. He felt a warmth spreading through his chest. 

“I... didn’t realize you might come to feel that way,” Logan finally said. Patton was still watching, and neither of the other two was aware of his presence. “I didn’t mean to slot myself into your life in place of your other daddy.” 

“You were always around more than other daddy. But you’re not my new daddy yet.” _Yet?_ “But I don’t think I’d not like if you were. I don’t have to call you dad, though. I didn’t mean to. I don’t want you to be upset. Please tell me you won’t start crying.” Logan might not, but Patton felt like he might. 

“I won’t. You can call me what you’d like. I believe... that I’ve come to think of you as my son, as well. You’re intelligent and kind, and I’d be proud to have you as a son.” Now, Patton _really_ felt like crying. 

Logan meant his words. He was being honest about his feelings. 

He liked Roman. He liked Patton. He wanted to see them both happy. He wanted to help them. He wanted to see Roman grow. He wanted to help Patton help Roman grow. 

He wanted to be Roman’s father. He wanted to be a bigger part of Patton’s life. 

_Did he...?_

_Oh_. 

He did. 

He wanted to be Patton’s husband, he thought, but not just for Roman’s sake. For his _own_ , he thought. 

But it wasn’t right of him to have those thoughts. Because Patton was recently-divorced. Because Patton shouldn’t be getting re-married so soon. Especially not to Logan, who was his friend, who Ethan had accused of only wanting sex from Patton. 

And if Logan proposed the idea of being Patton’s boyfriend, of dating him and someday getting married, wouldn’t Patton remember Ethan’s words? Wouldn’t Patton think that Logan was finally moving forward with whatever nefarious plan he’d concocted (a plan that didn’t actually exist, mind you) to get Patton into bed with him? 

Logan couldn’t forget Ethan’s words. He couldn’t forget the effect Patton’s marriage to Ethan had had on the secretary. He couldn’t forget that Patton wouldn’t ever fully be his (boyfriend, husband, friend...), because Ethan was sure to always have some hold on Patton. 

So, Logan would keep silent about his thoughts and this exchange between him and Roman. He would play with Roman, Patton would come home, and Logan would act as if nothing changed, as if he hadn’t suddenly had an “oh, I _like-like_ him (Patton)” moment. 

*** 

Patton never told Roman or Logan that he’d seen Roman refer to Logan as his dad that day. He felt a new kind of worry at it, though, and he hoped that neither of them could tell that something was up. 

From that day, he had a few days before an appointment with his therapist – where he could get his worries off his chest. So, he had to try to get through them and not let his worries overwhelm him. 

Because, after all, what Roman had said was big. It heavily implied that Roman was getting close with Logan. And Patton’s worries that Logan would leave him came back tenfold. Because not only would Patton be hurting, now, so would Roman. 

Patton felt a new worry: a worry prompted by Ethan’s ugly words that he’d tried to forget. Because maybe, before, Logan hadn’t wanted to help him out just to have sex with him at a later time, but could the same be said for now? If Roman thought of Logan like a father and Logan thought of himself as Roman’s father, what was to say that he wouldn’t try to engage in activities with Patton that two fathers might do? 

_No_. _Logan wasn’t like that_. Patton had never met anyone like that, and so, people weren’t like that. _Right_? 

He would be fine. Logan wouldn’t do anything Patton didn’t want him to. But did Patton not want Logan to become a bigger part of his and Roman’s lives? 

He tried not to think about his feelings. He tried not to think about his feelings for anyone except his son, because his son would never hurt him. His son might leave someday, but he’d always come back. Patton didn’t have that guarantee with anyone else. 

But maybe he was being irrational. His therapist had told him that he had anxiety, most likely from the aftermath of his divorce. And Patton knew that anxiety meant racing thoughts, irrational worries. He didn’t think it meant abandonment issues, and he didn’t know why he might have those, since _he_ was the one who left Ethan. 

Patton didn’t want to think about it. He just wanted to get through each day until the day of his appointment finally arrived. 

And finally, it did. 

Patton left work before Logan that day, but he knew Logan would get home before him. Patton drove to his therapist’s office. It was about a half-hour drive, even considering the after-work rush of traffic. 

It might have taken him a little longer than half an hour that day, but he knew that was okay, because sometimes, his therapist’s appointments would go over. Each appointment was an hour, and the therapist had a timer that would tell them when the appointment was over, but if the patient was in the middle of a thought, they’d be allowed to finish that thought, first, no matter how long it took. 

Patton didn’t know how long he’d spend talking about the only thing that had been on his mind that week, despite how he’d tried to push it out of his mind with positive thinking (and repression, when positive thinking didn’t seem to work, even though his therapist had told him time and time again that repression was bad). He just knew that it would feel like a weight was lifted off his chest. He knew his therapist would help him reach a conclusion about his feelings about the situation and about Logan. 

Patton was sure his feelings for Logan were purely platonic. It was too soon after his divorce for him to move on and fall in love with someone new, no matter how Logan and Roman got along swimmingly or how Patton always made sure the house was well-stocked with Crofters jam because he adored the sparks he’d see in Logan and Roman’s eyes upon eating it. 

Patton supposed he was lucky that, despite the thoughts still swimming in his brain, he made it to his therapist’s office without a hitch. There were only a couple cars in the lot, which was less than usual. Patton felt nervousness swirling in his gut. 

He hesitantly got out of his car and walked up to the door. The lights were on inside, and the door was unlocked. So, he stepped inside. He walked up to the secretary’s desk. 

“Hi, I have an appointment under Sanders,” Patton told her, keeping his voice gentle. He knew what it was like to be on the opposite side of that desk. He knew that some people could be cranky and demanding. 

“Dr. Harold had to leave early today, Mr. Sanders,” the secretary told him after a moment. She looked nervous. She was probably worried that Patton would have an extreme reaction. “There was a sudden family emergency. He doesn’t know when he’ll be back, but I can call you when he returns, and we can set up an appointment over the phone. If you’re in desperate need of help right now, you can speak to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Unless you feel like harming yourself in any capacity, in which case, you should check into the hospital.” The secretary’s worry only seemed to increase, as if she was worried that Patton would yell at her for insinuating that he might be thinking of hurting himself. 

“That’s alright.” Patton’s voice was still gentle. “I hope everything resolves itself quickly, but I do not blame you for this. If I find myself needing it, I will call the Lifeline. Do you have the number?” The secretary nodded. She dug around her desk for a moment before producing a small business card. She held it out to Patton, and he took it. 

“Have a good day, Mr. Sanders.” 

“And you, as well.” Patton tucked the business card into his back pocket, as he walked out of the office. He walked back to his car, a little disappointed that he wouldn’t be having an appointment. He figured he would probably be allowed to sit in his car and call the Lifeline before he went home, but he’d heard there was a wait time for those things, and he couldn’t stay out longer than an hour and a half. 

Logan wouldn’t get suspicious, call him and demand to know where he was, Patton knew, but he knew Logan might start to wonder if something had happened to Patton. Roman might start to get worried about his father’s absence, and Logan's statistics about the unlikelihood of Patton getting into a car accident wouldn’t do anything to calm Roman, who wouldn’t understand the complexities of statistics. 

Inside his car, Patton sighed for a moment. He rubbed his eyes, as if in an attempt to flush out all his worries again. Then, he started up the car and headed home. 

Traffic on the way back was a little worse than before, just because more people were heading home from work at that time. But still, he was sticking the key into the lock of the door of his and Logan’s house (and maybe the fact that he thought of it as _their_ house, despite the fact that Patton’s name wasn’t on the deed, indicated how Patton felt about the little family they’d made in that house) earlier than he was expected. 

He stepped inside the house to Roman’s giggles coming from the kitchen. He knew Logan was home, so they both must have been in the kitchen. Patton wondered what they were doing. 

Patton made sure to close the door quietly. He didn’t want to shatter whatever bonding moment the two were having. But he couldn’t resist peeking into the kitchen to watch what they were doing. 

Roman was stood at the kitchen counter on the little, plastic, red stool from the bathroom. Logan stood behind him, arms wrapped around him, as if guiding him on how to do something. 

“Careful now,” Logan mumbled. Roman tried to be careful. He was scooping flour from the bag with a measuring cup, with Logan’s strength to help him. Roman pulled out an overflowing cup. Logan helped him scrape off the excess back into the bag. Then, he let go, letting Roman pour it into the bowl they would use to mix the other ingredients in whatever meal they were making. 

The flour plopped into the bowl heavily, sending some of the white powder flying. Roman giggled again. “Can we put chocolate chips in it?” Roman asked, as if they were a lot farther along in this recipe. “And strawberries and blueberries and...?” 

“That's far too many ingredients to put in pancakes, Roman,” Logan said gently. “Especially if we want them to be done by the time daddy gets home.” 

“But he likes chocolate chips and strawberries and blueberries.” 

“Yes, he does. And I know you do, too. Maybe we can make smoothies with those ingredients, instead of trying to put them in the pancake batter.” 

“Really?” Roman sounded hopeful, his eyes wide. 

“You won’t be able to help me with them, though.” 

“Why not?" 

“You're far too young to use a knife to cut the fruit or a blender.” Roman pouted. 

“I’m not young. I’m six!” Roman held up the respective number of fingers. “And a half!” he added, after he’d lowered his fingers. 

“I understand, Roman, but my answer is still no.” 

“Daddy would let me.” 

“No he wouldn’t,” Patton spoke up from the entryway to the kitchen, at the same time Logan said the same thing. Roman turned, as if he’d be able to see his father past Logan’s much-larger form. 

“Daddy?” Roman’s voice sounded cheerful. Logan stepped aside. Roman hopped down from the stool and ran to his father. Patton picked him up and hugged him close. 

“Hey, kiddo,” Patton said. When he set Roman back down on the ground, he looked over at Logan with a small smile. Logan returned the smile. “It was nice of the two of you to make dinner tonight.” 

“It’s not a problem at all, Patton,” Logan responded. “You’re home earlier than usual, though. Is everything alright?” 

“My therapist had a family emergency, so my appointment was cancelled. But I’ll be fine. Can I help with dinner?” Patton wanted to help with dinner. He wanted to be included in that domestic moment. He wanted Roman to have two fathers again. 

And Logan was there, and he cared. And Patton cared about Logan. He loved watching him and Roman interact. He didn’t worry, so much, especially after seeing that exchange, that Logan planned on leaving him or only getting closer with the family to have sex with Patton. Logan wouldn’t act so domestic without knowing that Patton would be home early, if he didn’t truly care about them. 

And Patton found that softer side of Logan endearing. He felt lucky to get to see it. He wanted to see it forever. He wanted to wake up next to Logan and see him smiling softly at him. 

But that would only happen if Logan felt this same way. Because yes, Patton realized (without his therapist’s help, too. Maybe he would be proud), his feelings for Logan weren’t quite as platonic as he’d thought. But he knew he couldn’t do anything about it. 

He knew he didn’t have any right to feel like that so soon after his divorce. He knew he didn’t have the right to feel that way about a friend. He didn’t want to say anything, because if Logan didn’t feel the same, then he really _would_ leave. 

Just because Logan felt like Roman’s father didn’t mean he’d want to date Patton and marry him someday and legally obtain the title. So Patton wouldn’t say anything. He’d pretend like nothing was different, and Logan would never have to know. 

*** 

Adults thought that children weren’t very smart, since they didn’t know all of their numbers up to fifty gazillion or big words like Logan used (like “encyclopedia”), but they were a lot more observant than the adults gave them credit for. And along with Roman’s empathy, it wasn’t hard for the boy to notice that something had changed recently between Patton and Logan. He just couldn’t identify what it was. 

What he _did_ notice was Logan and Patton, both, beginning to play with him. Both of them cooking the meals for the household. Both of them helping him with his homework, playfully debating with each other the right way to help Roman, as if Roman was no longer there. Both of them attending his parent-teacher conference a month or so later and neither of them saying anything against the teacher referring to the both of them as Roman’s fathers. 

Patton making twice as many puns, as if determined to get a smile out of Logan. Logan peeking over at Patton to briefly watch, as he drove, the cheerful man singing along to some pop song on the radio, on their way to work. Both of them sneaking glances at each other when the other wasn’t looking, as if they weren’t aware that _Roman_ noticed. 

But Roman didn't know what any of it meant. He just knew that Logan was becoming more like a father to him and that he didn’t mind it. That maybe his daddy wanted Logan to be Roman’s father, too, since they were settling into that family dynamic with smiles on their faces. 

And yet, beyond that, neither man seemed to be making any effort to say anything about it. And Roman wanted to do something about it. 

He wanted Logan to be his father, and he’d seen enough movies and read (and been read) enough books to know that that would only happen if his daddy and Logan got married. And he knew that they would only get married if one of them asked. So, he decided, he’d have to think of a way to get them to ask. 

He checked out books with romantic themes from the school library when his class went for their biweekly visit. He read them as if they would reveal to him a plan to convince his daddy and Logan – his dad, because Logan was okay with being called such even if he hadn’t married Roman’s daddy yet – to get married. But truthfully, they didn’t. Roman just read about girls falling in love with boys and kissing them, and Roman felt weird about it all. 

He knew that an adult could help him, if he asked, but that didn’t mean they would. He couldn’t ask his teacher to help convince his dads to get married (not just because she probably already thought they were) in the same way he might ask her to help him sound out a longer word from one of his books. He couldn’t ask his uncles Remy and Emile, because he could only talk to them on the phone, and so his dads would hear what he asked them. Which left one final adult in his life: the babysitter (who was actually just in high school, but to Roman, anyone much taller than him was considered an adult). 

The next time she took him home from school, he told her about his dilemma, asked if she had any ideas. She told him that it wasn’t her place to interfere in their lives, nor was it Roman’s place. However, as soon as Roman widened his eyes and jutted out his lower lip and made it quiver, she was a goner. Everyone usually was. They were weak to his charms. 

The babysitter introduced him to a movie called The Parent Trap. She made sure to explain only to pay attention to the plan the twins came up with (otherwise, Roman might realize that the movie was about twins getting their parents together after a divorce, a situation that might hit close to home for Roman, despite how he might not have wanted Ethan in his life anymore because he had Logan). She told him that it might inspire him. And it did. 

Over the course of the next few weeks, while the babysitter was with Roman for the couple hours before his dads would get home, they came up with a plan: 

Summer was fast approaching, which meant that the babysitter would have to resign until school started again. She had a summer job at her parents’ shop, not to mention she was at the age where she had to start worrying about college applications. So, the babysitter and the boy decided, she would “surprise Roman’s parents with a farewell dinner,” as if to butter them up before she resigned. 

In all actuality, she wouldn’t be resigning that night. (She planned to do it the next day, over text, even though she knew Logan would hate that. She just didn’t want to face them when she said it, as if Patton might beg her not to, insisting that they needed a babysitter for the summer, too.) She wouldn’t even be around as soon as the adults handed her her last paycheck. 

Roman would have already eaten dinner, so that way, the adults could eat alone. The dining room would be lit by candles. A nice pasta meal would be waiting for them. A wine bottle stolen from the stash Roman pretended he didn’t know about would sit on the table. 

The adults would have no choice but to have dinner with each other and talk. They’d have no choice but to figure out the implications behind the meal their son and the babysitter had set up for them. They’d have to realize how they felt about each other. 

The babysitter told Roman not to expect them to be married right after the dinner. They might go on dates first. But even before then, they might still be tip-toeing around each other, not entirely sure of the other’s feelings, because the romantic dinner had been set up by Roman (with help), and that really only told them that _Roman_ wanted them together. They might not get to the confessing-their-own-feelings part of that night. 

Roman was a little disappointed at that thought, but he was willing to do whatever it took to push his dads to getting married. He wanted to see them happy, He wanted them to all be a happy family in the way that marriage made them a family. 

*** 

It took almost that whole summer – and a lot more interference from Roman – for Patton and Logan to stop tiptoeing around one another and finally confess how they felt about each other. But the babysitter had been right that they wouldn’t get married right away. In fact, not much seemed to change in the house. 

Those sneaky glances at each other were still ever-present. They still helped each other in the kitchen. They still doted on Roman. 

What _did_ change was that Logan had moved from the couch to Patton’s bed around Halloween. (Though, if Roman woke up in the middle of the night because of a nightmare, he would find that there was a space between them wide enough for Roman to slip right into and fall back asleep. He wouldn’t know that it wasn’t solely because they anticipated he might pop in.) Patton would grab Logan’s hand when they were walking around the store, holding tight as if he never wanted to let go and swinging it like he was a happy child. They both seemed much happier, like a weight had been lifted from their shoulders. 

They had whispered discussions at night that Roman tried not to listen in on through the thin walls of the house. He never heard them say “I love you” like the other kids’ parents did. 

Roman was sent to Remy and Emile’s one weekend during winter break in January. He wasn’t given any reason why, but he didn’t mind. He loved getting to stay with his uncles. He loved ice cream for dessert and Disney movies with Emile until he could no longer keep his eyes open. He loved the back and forth teasing with Remy and the tickle fights that Remy would deny he enjoyed. 

Roman didn’t know that he’d been sent away for the weekend so the adults could have the house to themselves, so they could finally go on the first date that Roman must have wanted them to go on months and months ago. 

Their first night without Roman was just to plan what kind of date they might like to go on. Patton had gone on many different kinds of dates with Ethan over the years they were together, but Logan had never been on a date, always needing to prioritize school and work in order to keep his parents happy with him. 

Patton’s first ideas were a bit more out there, as romantic as he was: a carriage ride in a park (as if that was a thing they offered in Florida), a hot air balloon ride (as if Patton had that kind of connection and as if he wasn’t also afraid of heights). Then they became more tame: dinner at a nice restaurant (“Nothing too expensive, Patton. We need to stay within the budget”) and a movie at a theater, a picnic in the park with the stars sparkling above them. Logan was partial to that last one, and so, it was decided. 

The day of their date, they spent the afternoon preparing a meal to pack in a picnic basket Patton conjured out of seemingly nowhere. (Logan didn’t remember packing a picnic basket when they'd moved, nor did he remember seeing Patton ever come home with one.) They worked together in the kitchen to prepare a nice soup that would be hot and ready by the time they were ready to go and pastries made with Crofters jam, because Logan could never resist the jam and Patton had a sweet tooth. 

They also packed a few fluffy blankets into the basket, Logan enjoying the challenge of ensuring everything would fit, as if he was playing a game of Tetris. 

They didn’t wear anything fancy, since they would just be laying on a few blankets and looking at the stars more than each other (or so they insisted). Logan, of course, still wore a necktie. He threw a black leather jacket over a white button up and Patton tried very hard not to visibly swoon. He felt that his own gray cat hoodie paled in comparison. 

Logan drove them to the park as the sun was setting, so Patton could sit with his head in his head and watch the pink and orange sky out the window, and Logan could pretend he wasn’t admiring Patton when he had the chance. They stepped out of the car and walked through the park until they found an abandoned spot where the sky was unobscured by trees. Patton insisted that luck was on their side, since neither of them had known if they would actually find a place or if they'd have to go back home and stargaze from the dry grass of their backyard. 

Patton and Logan both laid out all the blankets. One was laid out flat on the dark green grass, and the other two were folded, so they could function as pillows. They sat on the “picnic blanket” and unpacked their picnic basket. 

They each had a Tupperware container of hot soup and another Tupperware container filled with their Crofters jam pastries. Patton, of course, tried to go for the pastries first, but Logan was quick to scoop them up and set them in his lap, knowing Patton wouldn’t grab them from there because of any implications it might unintentionally bring about. 

They ate their soup in silence as the sun finished setting and the sky became darker and darker. They ate the pastries with smiles on their faces as the first stars lit up the sky. And finally, they’d finished eating and repacked the Tupperware into the picnic basket. They laid back on the blankets to look up at the stars. 

They were quiet, at first, simply taking in the view above them – as much view of the stars as one could get in a slightly-polluted city. Then, Patton’s hand brushed Logan’s meant to get his attention. Logan smiled and tightened a grip of his own on Patton’s hand. Patton met his eyes, smiling now, too. 

“What can you tell me about the stars?” Patton asked, his voice a whisper, as if instead of being an adult on a first date with his boyfriend, he was a teenager laying on the roof of his house when his parents were asleep and his thoughts were loud. 

Logan’s eyes widened and lit up, and his mouth began moving a mile a minute. Patton grabbed onto every word, soaking in all of Logan’s fact about the stars and his insistence that horoscopes were “Pardon my language, Patton, but they’re bullshit.” But almost as suddenly as Logan started speaking, he stopped, seeming to shrink in on himself. 

“Did you run out of facts?” Patton asked, keeping his voice chipper even though he could tell something was wrong. 

“You can’t tell me you genuinely want to hear me ramble about the stars.” 

“I’d want to hear you ramble about anything. Even if it was you telling me why I shouldn’t eat so many sweets.” Patton gave Logan a watery smile. 

“That’s a discussion for another time,” Logan said with a fond smile of his own. He was teasing. It made Patton beam. And to Logan, that was a much prettier sight than the stars above them. 

Patton’s smile and eyes and freckles sparkled in the moonlight like Logan’s own personal sky. It was a sight he knew he would never tire of. It was a sight he wanted to keep close to him forever. 

Logan’s hand reached up to touch the freckles littering Patton’s cheeks. Patton subconsciously leaned into the touch, his eyelids fluttering shut. Two of the stars in Logan’s personal sky flickered out, but the sky was no less beautiful. The sky was as beautiful as it always was. _Patton_ was as beautiful as he always was. 

Logan moved his thumb lower down Patton’s cheek, his touch a little more hesitant, cautious. His thumb brushed Patton’s lips, and the cheerful man’s eyes snapped open. Logan froze. 

“My apologies,” he said immediately, moving his hand away. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” 

“I’m not uncomfortable,” Patton responded, a soft smiling curving up his lips. 

“But your eyes...” 

“It was unexpected, sure, but not unwelcome. I trust you.” And those three words meant a lot to Logan. If he had any worries, they were lessened. They were fully diminished when Patton, looking suddenly shy – as if worried he might shatter the moment or had been interpreting everything about their relationship wrong – asked, “Can I kiss you?” 

“Are you sure you want to?” Logan had to ask, Ethan’s words suddenly brought to the forefront of his mind. Not to mention Logan’s own insecurities, since this would be his first kiss. ( _What a shame he was, not having his first kiss or even his first relationship for this long, right?_ Wrong.) 

“I want to only if you do.” Logan knew he could say no. He knew Patton might be a little hurt, since he was quite affectionate, but it wouldn’t destroy their relationship. But Logan also knew that he loved Patton. He loved this man who he called his boyfriend, who listened to him ramble on about the stars, who allowed Logan to admire and touch the stars on his cheeks. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” Patton assured him. 

Logan knew they were still in a public place, and he’d always been iffy about PDA. But the thought crossed his mind that, really, they were surely alone. So a kiss wouldn’t exactly be considered PDA, since they weren’t exactly in the public eye. 

“Can it wait until we get home?” Logan asked. 

“It’ll be just a kiss, right?” Patton asked in response, his voice vulnerable. 

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” Logan echoed Patton’s earlier sentiment. 

“Let’s go home, then.” Patton was suddenly beaming again. 

“Someone’s eager,” Logan teased, wearing his own smile. But he was happy to oblige his peppy boyfriend. They packed up the blankets then returned to the car. They were silent during the car ride home, but the air was abuzz in anticipation of what was to come. 

“Can I kiss you?” Patton asked Logan, as soon as they’d both stepped onto the front porch of their house. Technically, they _were_ home, and Patton would bring it up with a smirk if Logan tried to insist that they weren’t home until they stepped inside. Logan rolled his eyes fondly, but he couldn’t help but smile. 

Patton always made him smile. Patton made him feel so many things. Logan loved this man so much more than he had ever thought possible for someone his classmates had one called an emotionless robot. 

“Yes,” Logan responded, without hesitation – perhaps suddenly overwhelmed by all the love he held in his heart for Patton – his voice merely an exhalation. And if Logan thought he’d been overwhelmed by love before, the moment Patton’s lips met his was something otherworldly. 

Logan felt like he was somehow both melting into a pile of goop, weak at the knees, and rebuilding into a better version of himself, flourishing in the feeling of Patton’s love for him. 

Logan tried not to focus on his inexperience at kissing. He tried to copy the movements of Patton’s lips as best he could. He tried to let his instincts guide him. (He’d deny that he’d read about how to kiss someone. It wasn’t anyone’s business but his own.) 

Patton’s hands fell to his waist, and so, Logan’s arms subconsciously wrapped around Patton’s neck. 

Logan was the first to pull away for air, his lips warm and tingling. Patton was already smiling again. Their foreheads rested against each other’s. They could feel each other’s breaths. There was so little distance for them to close in order to be kissing again, should either of them choose to. 

But at that moment, they didn’t, opting instead to escape the cool evening air and slip into the warmth of their house. They unpacked the picnic basket, put the blankets in the wash, and cleaned the dishes they’d dirtied. Then, they were sitting beside each other on _their_ bed, already attached at the lips. 

Logan was a quick learner, it seemed, with the passion he imbued into the kiss. But he still allowed Patton to lead them. 

Patton felt like he could get drunk on these kisses, addicted to them, even if he knew that they would be a rare thing with Roman always around. 

Logan could see stars behind his closed eyes, and while the sensation of kisses and these stars could never compare to the constellations on Patton’s skin, Logan was happy. He was in love. He loved Patton, and Patton loved him.

They were happy. 

**Author's Note:**

> The Parent Trap was the only movie I could think of that has kids getting their parents together, which was basically what Roman was trying to do, and I basically realized that “Strix Varia” could arguably be a fucked-up, went-completely-wrong, not-quite version of The Parent Trap. 
> 
> I don’t know if I ever mentioned if Patton has freckles or not, but he does now. I mean, look at how much sap I can write about them. 
> 
> One day I’ll write a kissing scene that’s actual kissing and not a bunch of inner monologue/flowery language, but today is not that day, it seems.


End file.
